I remember the first time a stranger invited me into their home to spend the night. A few minutes of conversation was all it took for me to agree to follow them back home for a free nights stay. Sounds pretty crazy doesn’t it? And in retrospect it probably was. But it still happened.
Without the proper context you might think I was an idiot to do it. Like watching the most cliqued horror movie when the hero says “I’ll be right back”, and you sit there screaming at the screen “DON’T DO IT!!!”. I mean, what sort of person approaches a perfect stranger and says, “hey, you want to come back to my place for the night?”. A murderer? A thief maybe?
What about just a kind and curious soul?
To give it a bit of perspective, I was travelling on my bicycle (as I have done for the past 800 odd days) and attempting to camp under the stars, next to a road, near my home in Sydney. To add a bıt more crazy to the story, my host openly shared stories of his time in a mental hospital, was clearly lonely, and voiced an open interest in my "beautiful feet". All this before we even got the the front door. Never the less I agreed, and had my first night in a strangers home.
Since then I have taken up this opportunity countless times, in many different countries, across Australia, Asia and Europe. All with great success.
I won’t deny that there is always a risk involved with doing this, especially when there is no common language.
So how do you minimise the risk?
There can be no definitive way of knowing whether someone you have never met is genuine or not. At least not right away. It can only come down to experience and common sense. As we all know, experience is something we usually get, right after we need it. In saying that, perhaps this method of sleeping somewhere for free is not for everyone.
Sites like Couchsurfing and Warm Showers are widely used all over the world. Basically they are platforms which connect intrepid guests with generous hosts. Designed to bring people together who wouldn’t usually get the chance to meet, and to learn and share about each others cultures.
You can search for specific hosts in a specific location, or even post a notice announcing your arrival and hope someone pops up and offers a helping hand.
Somewhat regulated by previous travellers/hosts leaving feedback about each other. This can take the fuss out of having to wonder whether your potential host is a good egg. Or not.
As a cycle traveller this added far too much predictability, and pressure to be at a destination at a certain time. Like everything else, I’d stick to winging it. It seems to work.
Of course I don’t say yes to everyone who invites me in. There is a certain level of patience required to do so. You have to be prepared to have the same conversation you have been having over and over again, with everyone you meet. And boy, there sure can be a lot of them.
What is your name?
Where are you from?
Are you married?
Do you have children?
What’s your religion?
How old are you?
Then they invite their friends over, and they invite their friends, and so on, and so on. Be prepared to sometimes feel like a circus freak.
At first this is an extremely exciting and daunting experience. One thing though which never fails, is the warm feeling it leaves you with. Once a perfect stranger, a person with which you would never ever have had any contact with, can quickly become a lifelong friend. Someone who trusts you blindly enough to, not only bring you into their home, but make you feel so incredibly comfortable, like you are part of the family.
My own method of gauging whether or not a potential host is a kind hearted new friend, or a raging psychopath, is quite simple. It’s all to do with the approach. When given an option, “Hey, if you would like to come and stay, I could offer you some food and a bed for the night. But if not? It’s all good”. Well that sounds like a reasonable offer.
On the flip side, when someone doesn’t wan’t to take no for an answer. My answer, is always no.
Without a doubt the best country I have been for this is Iran. Hands down the highest ratio of conversations to kind and generous hosts anywhere. They do it so well, making you feel immediately comfortable from the get go. And unless I had a host there literally holding my hand escorting me to their home, on route, others would extend their own hand in hospitality.
Indonesia was almost exactly the same. If I had stopped and spoke to everyone who stopped me for a chat in Indonesia, I’d probably still be there. And that was about 18 months ago.
To an outsider it can appear that I am just a no good bum. A freeloader, sponging off the kindness of others. I thought I understood this cynicism before I hit the road. But I was wrong. So, so wrong.
Its no secret my western currency (Australian $$) goes a bloody long way in the world. So where do I get off having (poor) people pay for my (spoiled rich guys) lunch?
The mere suggestion of even opening my wallet is, more often than not, seen as a huge insult. On occasion though İ do win the uphill battle, and contribute.
So trust your instincts, don’t be afraid to say yes, or no. Travel with an open mind and speak when spoken to. A smile is your most valuable currency. Giiven the chance, you just never know who you are going to run into. It doesn’t take long to figure out that not everyone in the world is out to get you. In fact, this couldn’t be anymore closer to the truth.
